Women!? But What About Men!?

One of the most annoying, ignorant, and selfish comments made by anti-feminists (other than “not all men”) is “You hate men!” or “You don’t care about men’s rights” “We [men] are the reason you even have rights!” or my favorite “You demonize men and completely write off all they have done for you!”

Excuse me… WHAT?

First of all, don’t tell me who I hate or don’t. I love humans… men are humans, so I love men. Some humans are assholes, so some men are assholes. I call ’em like I see ’em. If you are defensive or angry when I identify as a feminist… take a second and search within your human self as to why. Does it scare you that another human wants to be treated like every other human? Did my polite and educated opinion make you question everything you’ve ever known and you don’t dare entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, you were taught and socialized in a way that oppresses other humans? As a man, are you worried that women might deserve and enjoy the same respect, dignity, and opportunities as you?

No, really, this is a serious question: Why are you so angry?

Oh, is it because someone else wants to share in your power over EVERYTHING? That you might have to stop treating other humans as unimportant objects? That you might have to be held accountable for your actions? That women might start getting recognized for things that you have always taken credit for? That you might have to acknowledge that we are just as smart, strong, and qualified to participate in life, as you?

I know that I am speaking to men in that last paragraph… but women are just as angry too. I know women that say things like “Feminists ruined it for women. Now we have to work and be moms! I liked it better when a man took care of everything! We all have roles, we should have just kept our mouths shut and we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Hey women who think feminists ruined life for you: NEWSFLASH!

Men can be dads to their kids. Men can stay home. Men can cook. Men can do laundry. You can work. You can have a family. Its not about roles… its about equality. And I’m not sure what feminists had to do with the cost of living going up so women had to help men support their own family. You’re the ones putting that pressure on him to be the “bread winner” and be the “provider.” That stigma is just as much of a problem as men thinking that the woman’s place is in the kitchen.

Everyone belongs in the kitchen! The kitchen has food!

What I try to reiterate to women who think that I’m shaming them for thinking feminism is wrong and immoral or somehow shameful to women or “the way it is supposed to be” is: If you want to be a stay at home mother who cooks and cleans and works hard to keep a nice home for their family, then go for it! I think it is great you found a way of life that fulfills your every need and desire! It is your right to choose what is best for you. But as a woman who has chosen what is best for herself, realize that your lifestyle is not what is best for every woman, and saying that women don’t belong anywhere but in the home, is oppressive.

Someone posted this today… and it made me die inside.

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“Waaaaaaah I’m a man, recognize me! Thank me! Give me credit! Talk about me!”

Right, because NOTHING is ever about men. my bad.

The problem I have with this is that men did house women and children, they did feed, protect, and take care of them.

Because women weren’t allowed to do it for themselves.

Men were told by society to “keep your woman in line.” and women were told “keep your man happy!” Men were told they deserved women’s respect and service because they were bred to kill themselves over their country, jobs, and status. Well, that’s because women weren’t allowed to have jobs, women weren’t allowed to go to college or join the military. There were times and places where women weren’t allowed to vote, drive cars, or leave their house with out a man.

essentially this post portrays men like this: “I am the bread winner! I am the only one capable of providing for you! So you can’t fight, or work, or do the heavy lifting because I said so! So sit down, Shut up, and be thankful that I am such a kind person!”

Women were men’s.

Not to say those women didn’t appreciate it. Not to say that women who love their husbands who work hard shouldn’t appreciate them… that’s not what I am saying.

I’m talking about the women who were brought up in a time, in a society, and in homes that taught them that they needed to be pleasing to men, get a man, take care of a man and he will make all your dreams come true! She was never told, you’re smart, you’re funny, you matter, you can go to school, you could be a doctor/lawyer/teacher/accountant, you could travel, you could change the world. No, those things were for men. So why would she ever be anything else accept a wife and mother? You are what you know how to be.

No offense, men, but you know how to be entitled. You are the majority in the house and senate. You are the majority in business and corporations. you are the majority of wealth holders. No one asks you how you balance work and family. No one calls you bossy when you propose plans, no one assess your worth by considering your body/hair/makeup/looks. No one pities you for not being married. You don’t have to fear walking alone at night. You are not told that men are weak, emotionally unstable, too gentle, too dumb, too pretty. No one tells you what to do with your sperm. Men, you are not oppressed.

What I’m saying, men, is that feminism isn’t about you, and the fact that you think that it is not a worthwhile cause because it does not directly benefit you, is the EXACT reason why we need feminism.

And just in case you all forgot, feminism DOES help men. It helps children, and minorities, and the LGBT humans as well.

So, yes, women.

What about men?

 

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