Just OK?

So I know I’m all about the independent, girl-power, strong, single, woman thing. I do enjoy my pants-free apartment, and not doing my dishes until I feel like it, and coming and going whenever I please…

But I haven’t completely ruled out dating and meeting guys. I do enjoy being in a couple as much as I love being alone.

Don’t get me wrong, he has to be the right kind of person for me because I am not an easy person to love. But I deserve love like everyone else, and I have love to give to someone as well, so I’m still leaving my options open.

Sadly, I don’t get into a lot of situations where I can meet men that are the kind of person I’d like to date (I play music late night at bars, have the same group of friends since 8th grade, work in an all-women office etc.) so I have resorted to “seeing what’s out there” AKA online dating.

There are some real crazies out there! But you knew that. I knew that. But I sure didn’t know how mean people could be.

I have been collecting screenshots of my more memorable messages with men from the dating sites I have frequented over the past few years. Some of them are funny, some of them are presumptuous, some of them are blatantly sexual, some of them are just mean. I’ve learned to just brush it off. I don’t respond to most. I do respond to repeat offenders and I do block people who are very offensive and harassing… But I think some of these are insanely entertaining even though very vulgar and rude. This is not a revenge piece by any means, but more of a candid look into the dating files of a 29 year old woman. Please enjoy.

let’s start with the weirdly humorous:

“Quirky Milfy Joy”  yup.

He made his choice I guess.
  For you!? $1,000,000,000,000 since you asked so nicely!



I’ve got to give this one credit, it was funny. I think my answer was “Russia.”


A boy who likes boobs, you don’t say!?

I appreciate his enthusiasm… Really, I do.



Um…. No?

The obsession with my breasts is a never ending slew of unsolicited comments and scrutiny… It’s really annoying… Sometimes I can’t help but point it out. But, COME ON!?

Can’t even spell fuck out? Where is the effort!? I’m worth the uck

Almost! But then no.

Here are some guys who can’t stand to be rejected or worse, ignored… Watch them go from charming to douchebag in less than 5 seconds:img_7997

I ignored this last jab… But two days later he decided to harass me. Aw naw… I don’t play that game.


Super sweet guy. Too bad I had to block him and report him. He made a new profile and messaged me two months later obviously just sending mass generic messages to any younger women he found remotely attractive… I reminded him of our encounter, he called me a cunt and I reported him again. Sadly, he’s not the only one who has done this.

Like this next dude, for example, he has messaged me three times now. Also a mass-mailer. The last time I said I was not interested and he went off saying I was fat and ugly and that the Brad/Todd liberal college guys will never want me and blah blah blah…Every time he gets younger and every time I ignore him because his profile is so douchy. He rants about hating that girls want to be friends first, and how that’s just lazy. He also rants about how he doesn’t want to hear why girls don’t want to date him, he states “if you’re not interested, no reply is necessary.” Third time is a charm.
Ok… That was a little bit mean, but he asked.

and this

POFusername, 60

Actually I HATE 50 shades btw


Jacked up millionaire asshole? Nah, I like my men a little chubby, smart and sweet with mediocre financial situations…Ok, to be fair, I have deleted POF… But dude didn’t even give me an hour to respond. I was out with friends and actually was going to reply… What is an almost thirty-year-old to do!?


and this

He thinks that ladies are supposed to drop what they are doing to respond to his messages. I’m disrupting the flow of the universe!


and this

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.


Then there are the fetish types. Don’t get me wrong, we all like what we like and I think that nothing is really weird or shameful if done between two (or 5) consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes… Whatever, do what makes you feel good! I don’t judge. But a first message on a non-fetish dating website isn’t really the place to talk about it. But they do… Oh, they do.


Happy Monday morning to me!


I did not know getting kicked in the nuts was such a fetish… But I have received many messages like this. And no, I won’t kick you in the nuts.

 Intriguing…. But, no.

Then there are the actual nice guys, who are probably totally great and nice and sweet and are just genuinely looking to make a girl laugh and maybe meet “the one” And there are guys who are polite and know how to just take NO for an answer. They do exist, and just to show that I’m not a man-hater (which I shouldn’t have to prove at all anyway) here are some actual nice guys which are about 55% of my messages received.


Thanks to Chris for not calling me a cunt! This is what a mature adult and father looks like, ladies and gentleman.
This next one only gets half credit because he did message me to see if I’d be his FWB which I clearly state in my profile I am not interested in that… But honesty is appreciated

  I hate February too, and yes, as a matter of fact, my vagina is magic.

I have had many great conversations and met very attractive and intelligent men from the internetz. I kind of almost believe it is a viable way to meet people. But I guess I am a little picky. But I should be, and so should the men… But just be nice, be decent, be human.
And be true to yourself, be honest about what you’re looking for and show them the real you.

like I do:

I own it.