Just OK?

So I know I’m all about the independent, girl-power, strong, single, woman thing. I do enjoy my pants-free apartment, and not doing my dishes until I feel like it, and coming and going whenever I please…

But I haven’t completely ruled out dating and meeting guys. I do enjoy being in a couple as much as I love being alone.

Don’t get me wrong, he has to be the right kind of person for me because I am not an easy person to love. But I deserve love like everyone else, and I have love to give to someone as well, so I’m still leaving my options open.

Sadly, I don’t get into a lot of situations where I can meet men that are the kind of person I’d like to date (I play music late night at bars, have the same group of friends since 8th grade, work in an all-women office etc.) so I have resorted to “seeing what’s out there” AKA online dating.

There are some real crazies out there! But you knew that. I knew that. But I sure didn’t know how mean people could be.

I have been collecting screenshots of my more memorable messages with men from the dating sites I have frequented over the past few years. Some of them are funny, some of them are presumptuous, some of them are blatantly sexual, some of them are just mean. I’ve learned to just brush it off. I don’t respond to most. I do respond to repeat offenders and I do block people who are very offensive and harassing… But I think some of these are insanely entertaining even though very vulgar and rude. This is not a revenge piece by any means, but more of a candid look into the dating files of a 29 year old woman. Please enjoy.

let’s start with the weirdly humorous:

“Quirky Milfy Joy”  yup.

He made his choice I guess.
  For you!? $1,000,000,000,000 since you asked so nicely!



I’ve got to give this one credit, it was funny. I think my answer was “Russia.”


A boy who likes boobs, you don’t say!?

I appreciate his enthusiasm… Really, I do.



Um…. No?

The obsession with my breasts is a never ending slew of unsolicited comments and scrutiny… It’s really annoying… Sometimes I can’t help but point it out. But, COME ON!?

Can’t even spell fuck out? Where is the effort!? I’m worth the uck

Almost! But then no.

Here are some guys who can’t stand to be rejected or worse, ignored… Watch them go from charming to douchebag in less than 5 seconds:img_7997

I ignored this last jab… But two days later he decided to harass me. Aw naw… I don’t play that game.


Super sweet guy. Too bad I had to block him and report him. He made a new profile and messaged me two months later obviously just sending mass generic messages to any younger women he found remotely attractive… I reminded him of our encounter, he called me a cunt and I reported him again. Sadly, he’s not the only one who has done this.

Like this next dude, for example, he has messaged me three times now. Also a mass-mailer. The last time I said I was not interested and he went off saying I was fat and ugly and that the Brad/Todd liberal college guys will never want me and blah blah blah…Every time he gets younger and every time I ignore him because his profile is so douchy. He rants about hating that girls want to be friends first, and how that’s just lazy. He also rants about how he doesn’t want to hear why girls don’t want to date him, he states “if you’re not interested, no reply is necessary.” Third time is a charm.
Ok… That was a little bit mean, but he asked.

and this

POFusername, 60

Actually I HATE 50 shades btw


Jacked up millionaire asshole? Nah, I like my men a little chubby, smart and sweet with mediocre financial situations…Ok, to be fair, I have deleted POF… But dude didn’t even give me an hour to respond. I was out with friends and actually was going to reply… What is an almost thirty-year-old to do!?


and this

He thinks that ladies are supposed to drop what they are doing to respond to his messages. I’m disrupting the flow of the universe!


and this

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.


Then there are the fetish types. Don’t get me wrong, we all like what we like and I think that nothing is really weird or shameful if done between two (or 5) consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes… Whatever, do what makes you feel good! I don’t judge. But a first message on a non-fetish dating website isn’t really the place to talk about it. But they do… Oh, they do.


Happy Monday morning to me!


I did not know getting kicked in the nuts was such a fetish… But I have received many messages like this. And no, I won’t kick you in the nuts.

 Intriguing…. But, no.

Then there are the actual nice guys, who are probably totally great and nice and sweet and are just genuinely looking to make a girl laugh and maybe meet “the one” And there are guys who are polite and know how to just take NO for an answer. They do exist, and just to show that I’m not a man-hater (which I shouldn’t have to prove at all anyway) here are some actual nice guys which are about 55% of my messages received.


Thanks to Chris for not calling me a cunt! This is what a mature adult and father looks like, ladies and gentleman.
This next one only gets half credit because he did message me to see if I’d be his FWB which I clearly state in my profile I am not interested in that… But honesty is appreciated

  I hate February too, and yes, as a matter of fact, my vagina is magic.

I have had many great conversations and met very attractive and intelligent men from the internetz. I kind of almost believe it is a viable way to meet people. But I guess I am a little picky. But I should be, and so should the men… But just be nice, be decent, be human.
And be true to yourself, be honest about what you’re looking for and show them the real you.

like I do:

I own it.


Water-Boarding or Free Ponies?

NH has been quite the place to be the last week or so… I’m proud of our state and I have enjoyed the buzz around town. Now that it’s over I’ve been left with a little bit of a political hangover. I’ve had way too much, and now my head is spinning, and I don’t want to see another campaign sign for a long time!

I have some stuff to say for the Trump Lovers, Bernie haters, Hilary supporters, and the people who put Vermin Supreme in fourth place in the democratic running.

Am I a skilled reporter or political science major? Nope.

Am I normal human citizen of America who is allowed to have an opinion? Yup.

Do I think that everyone else is also entitled to their opinion? Yup.

Will I ever agree with you or take your opinions seriously if you use hate, oppression, and sexism as a basis for your arguments? Sure won’t!

That pretty much wipes out the whole Republican Party. With the front runner, Mr. WATERBOARD!!!!, 2nd runner up, Mr. Women-shouldn’t-be-in-the-military, and 5th place, Mr. No-gay-marraige-allowed!

I will give a little (very little and not supportive) nod to Mr. Kasich and Mr. Bush… Only because I found their loser speeches to be very humble, very positive, and lacking any hateful, bigotry. So if I was being water-boarded and had to choose a republican for prez it would be one of them. So there is that, if that is worth anything… And it’s not. Whatever, Republicans.

I’m not ashamed to say that I #feeltheBern.

Is he radical? Is he a little bit out there? Yeah, he is. But only if what you are used to is big banks and rich entities funding campaigns. Only if you think that people age 20-45 should be in $65,000-$125,000 debt for choosing to go to college so they don’t have to work for $8.00 at a local restaurant or retail store. Only if you think that life is precious until it’s born and becomes a child that a mother can’t care for, or a homeless person, or a mentally handicapped person, a disabled person, or any other person who can not feed, clothe, or care for themselves. Only if you believe that proper and life saving healthcare is only for the rich.

Then, yes. Bernie is CRAZY! And I can’t wait to see where the crazy train is headed! All aboard! Choo choo!!!

A shout out to my girl Hillz! She fought hard, and as much as I’d love to see a Madame President… I just can’t get on board. She’s got some sketchy emails that I think will be causing problems soon. She’s got some money coming in from places that aren’t small, local, citizen-based groups and it rubs a lot of people the wrong way. Overall, I think her heart is in the right place. She does seem like helping kids is her life’s work, and I’m all about that life! She’s also had to deal with a lot of shit through the years in her past careers, positions, and marraige. I get it, she’s seasoned. It’s cool. But what wasn’t cool was her attitude that “if you’re a girl and don’t vote for another girl than you’re a bitch.” Ok, that’s not exactly what was said, and it wasn’t even her that said it… But anyway, that’s not how feminism works. Hillz, I support your right to choose, to live as you feel comfortable, and to be free and run for president! But you Hillz, need to also be supportive of women and their right to choose what’s best for them and accept the fact that maybe that choice isn’t you. Good hustle though, still my second choice!

Then there is the candidate that got 256, votes coming in 4th on the Democratic ticket. Mr. Vermin Supreme! With his promise of ponies for all, mandatory teethbrushing, and use of time travel to thwart ISIS, why wouldn’t he get the votes!?

Also, he takes a rad selfie:

 Yes, thats me. Yes that is a boot on his head.

He’s like the crazy guy at the party that everyone loves to laugh with, drunkenly solve world problems with, take selfies with… But you sure as hell aren’t asking him for financial advice or to do the brakes on your car.

It’s an interesting world we live in when we get to decided which one of the above listed humans will get to make executive decisions regarding our health, education, happiness and well-being. Maybe interesting isn’t the word….

Terrifying might be more like it.

So it is with crossed fingers and closed eyes that I whisper under my breath “please not Trump, please not Trump, please not Trump…ANYONE but Trump.”

Because I’d take free ponies over water-boarding any day of the week.

“Don’t take it so hard…

It’s a joke not a dick!”

Haha funny, yes because I’m a female and I take hard dicks hahaha you’re such a funny guy making jokes about ladies, you’re right, I like being the butt (or in this case the vagina) of jokes.

I’m pretty tired of hearing this. “It’s funny, just laugh” is not the same as “you know you want it, shhh just take it.” But… It definitely starts to make me nervous how similar it is.

For everyone thinking “this sensitive bitch can’t take a fucking joke! What a boring c-word.” Please know I’m funny, I like jokes, I can even laugh at generalized jokes and I can make fun of myself… But when the people I know, who I care about and feel love and respect for, start making jokes that make me feel like a low-class citizen, a sex object, or a non-human convenience to the opposite sex… I find it hard to fake a damn smile.

My apologies for not apologizing.

We are CONSTANTLY bombarded by images of women being sexulized, patronized, disregarded, disrespected, and degraded. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it’s blatant, sometimes it’s innocent and by accident, most of the times it’s obvious and implied. We are so desensitized to it that we don’t even recognize it anymore. When I point it out I’m the crazy one. But that is media. That’s expected. But what about those people on your FB that you just can’t delete because you knew them from “back in the day” and they were always decent enough to you and they always says happy birthday and their kids pics are super cute, why not be their friend? Because they keep liking and posting those posts… You know the ones.

Is it funny?

Yeah, to men and women who think they are DVD player.

I just roll my eyes, scroll past and try not to judge him. But come on!?

People are liking and commenting on this stuff and women are lol-ing so as to show that they are a”cool” girl…

But then there is me.

I’m thinking to myself: so women are like TVs? We are to sit quietly in the living room just waiting to entertain you with our bodies? Mute button so that I don’t get to talk or discuss anything? I am the maker of food? My boobs should be adjustable? We aren’t allowed to have PMS or clothes on? I’m an object you want to control?

Extreme thoughts? Maybe… But think about it. Jokes are only funny if they make sense within the context and society and others can relate and see the origin. The joke? Men want to control women, Women would be better if we could control them. Amirite!? Where is the joke there? I’m not laughing, because the fact that people are laughing shows that we are all subscribing to the fact that women being degraded is OK, therefore it’s funny.
Happy November! Time of turkey, and thanks and scraggly, wirey, pube-esque beards.

No I’m not a fan. But that’s my opinion. I know a bunch of guys that grow ’em and a ton of gals who love ’em. If you like beards I support you good sir/Madame…But you won’t see any memes from women saying they aren’t shaving their down-unders and guys cheering. You know that there aren’t any memes that women are posting about beards being unattractive or ruining humanity… Nope, because that would make us bitches! Men grow hair on their faces and it’s natural and sexy and we should all embrace it!

Weird, I have hair that grows naturally on my body too, but I don’t get a month where it is celebrated and I’m shamed if I don’t shave? I’m expected to think this is funny?

And then there is stuff like this…

Um? What? I think that this person is confused about what friendship is. I have a lot of friends that I’ve had for a long time that have never asked or needed to see my boobs to prove my friendship.

So because I’m a woman, and you know me, and we are friends, you expect me to let you see and touch my breasts and if I don’t you would tell me I’m not your true friend?  Hilarious! So funny! Good one.

Those examples are definitely sexist, degrading, and objectifying… But then there is this stuff that makes me cringe and touches a very personal nerve:

The picture is of a girl dancing with… Other girls. They are probably out celebrating someone’s achievement or maybe it was a long week and they want to blow off steam. They are in the circle that was barricading out creeps trying to “grind up on” them. No where is it depicting a girl riding a “cock-carousel” but I would like to see said amusement park ride. Points to the first person who can draw/render one.

But seriously! to society a girl who is “in her 30s now” and not married must be a slut who is now used-up, and deteriorating like a weathered OBJECT. There must be a reason why no one has saved her from her sad existence and settled down with her!
There’s no way that reason is because she focused on herself, her family, her friends. Definitely not because she put herself through college, busted her ass at a job to finally get that studio apartment she dreamed of since her womanizing ex told her she was nothing without a man. It’s definitely not because she chose to stay single, travel, pursue her music, and occasionally enjoy safe, consenting, sex with people she dated. It is not related to the fact that now that she’s stable and can provide for herself and has found out how to be happy and love herself she wants to share that love with someone else?

Nope. It’s definitely because she’s a whore, and that’s all she will ever be, and she would be so lucky if a man (unfortunately for him) loved her anyway.

These are the things I see EVERYDAY. I think these things EVERYDAY. And EVERYDAY I scroll past them, roll my eyes, and try to not hate people for what they find to be funny…

But it’s there and I’m here, and I’m not laughing, and I’m not sorry.